Now where were we?…
…Like I said, someone brought all those feelings of want, hope and slight desperation back. Around mid February, there was this boy who confessed he liked me and part of me wanted to like me but I couldn’t. I then did a little self discovery and discovered a lot of things.
I was scared : I was afraid of change. That something so beautiful could change so fast to something opposite
I lost part of my self esteem : I didn’t believe I was pretty or had anything outstanding. A little part of me thought we had ended because I became ugly or I lost my talents
I didn’t move on and I was tired : I found myself always remembering our past memories. I was sub consciously trying to relive the past when it was long gone. I found myself ignoring things that when resurfaced would be like poison in my system
I was broken but I convinced myself I was okay. Little by little I started forgetting about him again as I was busy with school and as he was dating my friend. But still, whenever I saw him my heart skipped a beat and I always found a way to ignore and concentrate on him at the same time.
I felt hopeless…I hated my heart for still keeping him inside, I hated seeing his face or hearing his voice. I hated hearing about him in general. This happened all through out February and March and thank God for the easter break or I would have surely lost mind
By the beginning of the 3rd term. I was determined to get over him. I was a little busy with school work so my feelings were a little reduced but they heightened every time I was near him or saw him…I expected him to do the cute things he used to do when we were still ‘in love’ but he just walked away and it hurt a little bit but I brushed it off. I never told anybody how I felt. I just kept it to myself until a game of truth or dare…
That was the beginning of me actually moving on. My friends and his girlfriend( she’s still my friend) asked me about our past relationship and I answered honestly and I decided from that day onwards that IF THE BOTH OF THEM REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER, I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM. From that day onwards I never felt what I felt for Michael again. (This happened in mid May).
- Moving on is hard. Its very easy for people to tell you to move on and forget about him/her but its actually not simple. It takes time and effort . Don’t bother yourself if its 7 months and you haven’t move on. Time will slowly fill the gap
- Moving on basically means using and learning from past experiences in order to use it for future reference to prevent making the same mistakes
- Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away
- Talking with a friend or friends helps to fasten and ease the healing process. If you don’t have any, writing in a diary or writing a letter to express your hidden feelings help
- Friendship and love should be separated meaning if you consider someone a good friend and you don’t want to loose him/her, avoid falling in love with them…Life isn’t all rainbows
- Real friendship should not be sacrificed because of a partner…not in all cases though
- No break up should make you feel inferior… Always remember What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
Hiiii well that’s my first love story. I truly hope this inspires someone out there. If you know someone who needs this please share this with them
If you also have any questions as I may not have explained everything clearly, just comment below
Have a nice weekend